My cousin Jack and I have always been pretty close. Our siblings are quite a bit younger than we are, so for the longest time it was just Jackie and Jimmy racing around and playing. I can remember looking forward to summer because it meant it was time for us to play as if there was no tomorrow. We had a lot of fun together and for the most part our interests were pretty similar.
There is one thing that Jack excels at that I’m just way far behind. Jack LOVES roller coasters and thrill rides. It didn’t matter if it was Busch Gardens roller coasters or the carny-rides at the State Fair or Strawberry Festival. He would not only find the most extreme ride but as soon as it was over he was on to the next. I love these rides to, but the big difference between Jack and I is that he has an iron stomach. Me? Not-so-much!
I can hang with Jack for about 3 rides and then it’s time for me to let things settle. I always feel like such a punk when we finish the 4th Coaster and I’m walking really slowly and he’s racing to the next one. Jack’s mantra is go for it – grab life and go. I love that about Jack.
The last several weeks have been a huge change for me. Most of the time my life is like Jack with a string of coasters in front of him – go…go…go!!! I have to sit with my calendar and plan the times when I will recover. Recently, as a result of my upcoming transition, my calendar has been freed and opened way up. I’m finding myself with more down time than I’ve had since arriving in Louisville. To be honest, it’s really difficult to slow down and process. I prefer to have that agenda that tells me where I’m going, but these weeks have been more about being still and inviting me to process.
This slowing down business has been a real push for me. But it’s also been greatly needed. I’m not made to race until I drop – it’s not God’s best for me. I’m made to live in the rhythm of life – the ebb and flow – the intentional engagement in life. If I run from event to event, I rarely see life but see objects, projects and deadlines. My equilibrium gets all squirrelly and I find myself wishing my stomach could settle.
My Senior Pastor recently gave the staff an exercise of watching and praying. It’s intentionally an opportunity to be still and see what it is that is in front of you. The prayer time starts with this phrase, “Lord, let me see what you see.” Then you sit and watch. What I found as I a prepared for this prayer-exercise and as I sat doing it was that it’s just as much about the work God is doing in me as it is what I’m seeing. In sitting and not racing but just listening, I saw and heard so much more than I expected. I guess that’s why Jesus’ words ring in my ears – “Are you tired and burned out, come to me and I’ll show you how to take a real rest!”
Another thing about Jack, when he gets on a coaster he experiences every minute of it – from beginning to end. He relishes the moment. He’s ready for the next one but only when we’ve fully left the previous. For him, that’s the rest he needs in-between. I tend to worry as I’m leaving the coaster whether my stomach will settle enough before I’m strapped to the next bullet. He’s living in the moment, I’m worrying about the next. That’s why he can keep going and it’s why I need to pause more often than he does.
This was the other lesson I’m learning in this quieter time of my life. Staying fully engaged in this moment allows the next moment to be more enjoyable. Rather than worry about what’s next, or about the next house showing, or if my new church is gonna like me, or whatever, I can choose to be here and now. All that stuff is still there, but if I’m worried about the next ride, I’m not living fully now. Rest gives me that pause to be available to what’s happening and what God may be putting right in front of me.
No matter how we recover, we all need REST. It’s vital to really living. Maybe you’re like me, maybe you’re riding roller coasters until your sick – can I invite you to take a break and rest? I know it sounds awful, but it might just make the next moments more exhilarating. If you’re like Jack, don’t be to upset with those of us who need to settle a bit – we’re just trying to play catch up and enjoy life like you are.
Grace and Peace –
Jim