I don’t like Mr. Hyde

Last evening was really weird. I had gotten home from a really great time at our Wednesday Night Disciple-Training time and things were pretty normal. The boys were still up and goofing around. We got them ready for bed and then it was time to crash. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I crashed on my couch. I sat there watching some of my DVR recorded programs and just sort of vegged out for a while.

Around 10:30, I realized I was just fooling myself – it was time to sleep. I roused Joy from her pre-bedtime nap and started gathering all our various oddities that have a way of piling up during the evening hours at Casa de Nichols. As I finished up in the kitchen, I noticed that Max had come out to see me. For those of you who don’t know him, Max is our 9 year old Miniature Schnauzer. He’s been my buddy since we adopted him from my grandmother 7 years ago. It’s not odd for Max to follow me around the house (at least when he’s not feeling lazy.)

Max has had a rough couple of weeks. First he was bit just under his tail by some awful little deviant bug in our yard. It drove him crazy and eventually it became a problem. After a trip to a vet, we thought things were going to return to normal, but alas last tuesday we noticed that Max had some strange bumps on his back. Joy did a little check over and noticed that the bumps were bad news. Let’s just say they were gross. We called our vet and made an appointment to bring him in as soon as we got home from our mini-fall break trip. By the time we finally got him in, Max was struggling. He was lethargic and looked horrible.

After more drugs and time, I thought Max was, for the most part, back to normal. But as I looked at Max in the kitchen last night, something didn’t seem right. I called for him and said it was time to go to bed and Max just stopped and peed. He looked at me and peed! As I was trying to get him to stop, grab towels and cleaning materials, he looked at me again (this time in another room) and he peed again. I flipped out! He didn’t go to the door, he just looked at me and began to pee.

This was when my Mr. Hyde nature took over. I went stomping around, shoving him outside, back and forth to clean up, grabbed the Swiffer Wet-Jet (thank God this all happened in non-carpeted areas) and just mouthed off for what seemed like forever. Max knew he had done wrong and he was trying to stay far away from me. After all the chaos, I was no longer tired. I brushed my teeth and tried to get ready to rest (haha).

I crawled in to bed and Max came over and laid his head on my leg. Every now and then, he’d look up at me and breathe deep. I tried to ignore him and stay all Hyde-like. I read my book and finally plugged my phone and iPad into their charging stations, but before I clicked off the light, Max looked up at me one more time. This time, he just looked and I took the deep breathe. That’s when it dawned on me that I was sinning. I was not letting Max say “I’m sorry, I know I did wrong, will you forgive me?”

Max could have cowered the rest of the night, but he didn’t, he laid on my leg wanting to make it all right. We both knew that peeing anywhere but outside is not cool, but as I sat there feeling convicted, I knew that he was sorry. Whether it was complications from all the meds he was on, or he just had a lapse in his normal cool self, the problem wasn’t Max’s peeing. The problem was that I was refusing to forgive my Dog. I was so engulfed in my own self – my want to just lay down and rest, that I had lost total perspective. I didn’t need to stomp around or shout at him – he knew he was in the wrong. I didn’t do that to teach him a lesson, I did it because I was being totally self-involved.

I laid there, light still on, Max still staring at me, and I realized that I was the one making the mess, not Max. I was the one who was the animal. Thankfully, Max is a really forgiving and loving little dog. Max was acting more human than his human was. He showed me grace when I was being a jerk. He was quick to say I’m sorry (in his own dog way). When I was acting like a horrible friend, he was going to just keep laying there, loving me.

I clicked the light off and realized that my dog had just taken me to the altar. He was teaching me forgiveness and love. I’m thankful for my Max. He and I had a great prayer time after that – well, he just sat there but I’d like to think he was praying with me. I asked the Father if there were other places where I was quick to turn into Mr. Hyde and graciously, God showed me areas that I needed to confess. He also showed me that I was still loved and that tomorrow was a new day to start again.

Just before I closed my eyes for sleep, I had one final thought – I was learning about God’s love for me from my 9 year old miniature schnauzer Max. Last night he was a much better teacher than I was – he modeled something for me that I hope I’ll mirror next time I find pee on my floor (both literally or figuratively). I rubbed Max’s ear and said thanks to my good boy and almost as if on cue, he lifted his head, gave me one last look and moved to the other side of the bed.

Location:Starbucks, Lexington Ky