Passion Week and a bad mood

That being said, today at the beginning of what some folks call the Triduum (fancy word for 3 holy days), I’m in a really really funky mood. I could relate it to just being tired and ready for a break. I also could blame the fact on kids being kids. This morning number one son was grumpy and number two son decided to dump Lentils all over my car (the lentils are for a craft that I’m leading during his Easter party later today). It could be the fresh new dings that I’ve found on the passenger side of my car that is making me so grumpy. It could be that I just haven’t had my coffee yet. Whatever the cause or reason, I’m really grumpy on this Maundy Thursday – and that’s even making me grumpy.

Here’s the thing though, as tired or frustrated as I may feel today, I don’t wan these emotions to hinder me from remembering what today is about. I was reminded this week about Jesus’ final week on earth and more specifically His final 24 hours. Get this, on the night he was going to be betrayed, He se

rved His complaining, stinky followers. At the onset of intense emotional and physical stress, Jesus washed His followers feet. This night was supposed to be a celebration – the festival of the Passover, but instead, Jesus was serving and listening to the grumbling of those who supposedly knew him best!

The second piece I’ve been wrestling with happened later that night. Jesus and his friends left the meal and headed for an overnight camping trip (or so the apostles thought). One of the followers had already split to get Jesus’ captors, 8 of them were left in a nearby cave to pray and 3 more were taken deeper into the garden for some one on one prayer time with the Master himself. Jesus tells these 3 that His very soul is in “anguish unto death” – that’s pretty severe inner torment! Yet, all 11 of the remaining disciples soon fall fast asleep.

Jesus went off to pray. Scripture says He prayed so hard, so intensely that he actually sweat blood. He didn’t just sweat, he sweat blood – that’s intensity. It’s very possible that at this time, Jesus was once again wrestling with the tempter He encountered at the beginning of his ministry. As Jesus prayed, He says 7 words that haunt me – “Not my will but yours be done.” Jesus was on the onset of his own death and his prayer was that the ultimate will – the Plan that God had come up with to rescue humanity – was still the focus and goal. How easily could it have been for God to say, “nope! This is nuts and they’re not worth it.” But God didn’t do that, the Son didn’t do that!

The disciples actually had a good reason for their exhaustion. They had been walking a lot, ate a big meal and drank a LOT of wine over the course of like 6 hours. They had been asked to pray but they were worn out. I have excuses to be grumpy and complain – I really do! But here’s the thing, when I look back at Jesus’ final week, when He certainly could have been frustrated and grumpy, Jesus was serving and thinking of others – He was thinking of You and Me. I get that He’s God and I’m not, but that doesn’t seem like good enough of an excuse.

Let me say that again, when given the opportunity to run, when faced with unsupportive and deserting friends, when exhausted and facing unparalleled torture – Jesus served and Jesus thought of everyone but Himself.

I don’t know about you, but that is making me pause and reflect. My prayer today is not for the things that are irritating me and making me want to pop, but it’s for open eyes to view and remember the events of the next few days in such a way that I too will have those 7 words on my lips and in my heart. “Not My Will, but Yours Be Done!”

I wish you all a blessed and redemptive Holy Week and Easter!