I’m going to attempt something today. I’ve been spending a lot of time with the metaphor of the Bride of Christ and the scripture that pushed me into this study is Ephesians 5. It’s a passage that was written to a church in a really exciting place. The city itself was spiritually starving for some “Good News” that would invite them into something totally new. They were a deeply devoted and spiritual people. They worshipped the goddess Artemis and had built one of the marvels of ancient world in her honor. Yet, they were starving for new life and for something that would bring life – enter the story of Jesus being lived out by his followers.
By the time Paul wrote the letter to the church at Ephesus, the Church had already had a good start. This letter was written to encourage and “sure up” some of the decisions that the new believers were wrestling with. One of the things I love about Paul was his insistence that followers of Jesus were love right where they were, but that God longed for them to grow and become the best follower they could be. All of his teaching and advice falls in this field – if we only see Paul as some harsh Bible beater, we miss the heart behind the man.
In Ephesians 5, Paul is addressing how life in and with Jesus pushes followers to rethink our
relationships in the entire household. This passage gets a bad rap, and rightfully so when we read it out of context. For centuries, folks have interpreted it to mean that women must fully submit to their husbands in all things. In our “try to find blame” or “gotta be in control” culture this passage has assured us that someone in a family – be it home, work or church life – is in control. Well, someone needs to be in control but it’s not a different person in each situation, it’s Jesus and Jesus alone.
We could talk all day long about mutual submission to each other, which is what the passage is telling us we are to be striving for by the way, but let’s star
t even prior to that. When we read the passage, the first thing I notice is that Paul in urging the church to make wise decisions and to live a different kind of life! I was listening to Israel Houghton this morning and one of his songs is entitled “moving forward” and through it he’s saying – realize that we have NEW LIFE and that changes everything. Paul is saying the same thing – we have a NEW LIFE, it’s time to move ahead and realize that things are made new! Even the relationships that we most often take for granted are remade – they are new!
I also notice that the example of submission and leadership isn’t one of control or of forcing another to “my way.” The example of submission and leadership is from Jesus as the husband of the church. Jesus is the head of the church, that’s pretty clear, and he calls himself the Groom to the church. He pursued the bride with an intense self-sacrificial love. He loved and honored and served (and continues to do so by the way) all the way to the cross. The Church’s
submission to this groom isn’t heavy handed or harsh, but one that brings great joy.
This is the mutual call for all believers to lead and serve each other in the same way. As a husband, when I’m loving my wife with this kind of self-sacrifical love is it harder or easier for us to be living in peace and unity? Similarly, when I lead this way, when I choose to dismiss my selfish wants and desires for the sake of our unity, then I am living in the image and example of Jesus. Submission then becomes straining for something even greater than what I want or some selfish desire of my own. Submission then is focused on being one and united with the other.
Now I realize Paul wrote this specifically with the marital relationship in mind, but I think it could be extended to other relationships as well. What if we all lived with that kind of self-sacrifical example in mind? How would it change our relationships at work and in other relationships? Now someone may say “but someone has to make decisions” or “that sounds like a recipe for getting walked on” but that is not Jesus’ example. I don’t know many folks who would consider Jesus a push-over. He had a spine and he had a clear connection with the Father and with what needed to occur. When I live out of that deep connection to God, I too will know
what is God’s best. Submitting to mutual submission doesn’t even mean submitting to another person but submitting to God’s best in our relationships and lives.
I find a lot of life in this passage! I see how people have misinterpreted it and I’m saddened. This passage is one that is calling all believers to live and love like Jesus did. Even more, the word that we translate submission is one that has a personal choice involved. In other words, just as we have the choice to submit to Jesus’ great love and offer of new life, so too do those who we are in relationship have the opportunity to choose to submit to this idea of unity. Will I choose to submit to the authority of Jesus? Will I choose to submit to the one-ness Jesus is calling His followers to strive for? Will I, as a husband, choose to submit to Christ’s sacrifice and will I choose to submit alongside of my wife to God’s best for us?
I pray that this passage is life giving to you! I pray that in it we see an ideal of mutual submission that is truly God-like. I pray that as we enter into relationships we too can choose something great – something New and something the world needs to see!