Talking about “them”

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

In 3rd grade, I got caught in a costly playground mishap. I was with my buddies, and some girls were “flirting” with us. I was way too dumb to realize what was happening, but it didn’t stop the huffing and puffing that so often happens on the playground. I remember the scene vividly. One girl said something to the bunch of us guys, and I responded with a “you and yo momma wish” retort. It was the heyday of “yo momma” jokes. 

I remember the girl being upset and walking to the playground monitor. I shrugged and walked away—this would soon blow over. I neglected to share that the school I was attending was also the school my grandmother taught at. Within a few minutes, my grandmother came out onto the playground and marched me into the principal’s office, where I was paddled for something more heinous than a “yo momma” joke. 

I was told that I had said the King Louie of all bad words that day, and I would suffer the consequences of such a nasty word coming out of my mouth. (If you’re struggling with what word I said, just think of the Christmas Story and Ralphie’s soap-in-the-mouth punishment). I didn’t say it. I didn’t even know the word at the time. But it was believed that I did know it and put it into action. 

Imagine a few years later when I read Paul’s letter to the Ephesians and his bit about the “corrupting talk,” or “unwholesome speech” coming out of my mouth. I remember telling a Sunday School teacher that sometimes people hear “corrupting talk” even when you don’t say it. I said sometimes some want to hear bad talk when the not-so-bad talk is what comes out. I remember sighing and adding, “And when that happens, it always gets the speaker in trouble.” The teacher, thinking I was just being my typical ADD-self, looked at me and told me to hush. 

Corrupting and unwholesome talk has come to mean a different thing as I’ve gotten older. Sure, words matter, and sometimes the words we use are just tacky and immature. Sometimes, I think one of those special words is appropriate in certain situations. But saying them all the time…meh, they just lose any kind of meaning. I think the bigger issue, particularly in our supercharged electoral season, is not just “bad words” but bad speech…the dirty intention behind the words we use to talk about those with whom we disagree.

It doesn’t take much to see that politicians and their machines are champion mudslingers. The rhetoric and the extreme lengths everyone is going to not just prove their own point but to show how wrong the opponent is is deafening. And it’s not just that they are wrong, but they are stupid…they are lesser than…they aren’t even humans, but, instead, all manner of evil and filth. 

I no longer am surprised by what non-Christians will do and say. But I do get very concerned with followers of Jesus, the prince of peace, acting more like pagans than like our Savior. When the people in the church join in on the unwholesome and corrupting talk about another human being, I find myself actually sick to my stomach. To demean another person, no matter how much I disagree with them politically, is to reject the image of God in them. To allow myself to wallow in that kind of talk doesn’t lift me up, and it doesn’t really even tear my opponent down. When I join in the ugly political talk, all I really do is demean myself – I lower myself to a place Jesus invited me to reject. 

I like how Peter, the guy with a regular habit of shooting his mouth off, states it in his letter to the early church. He would have championed Paul’s call to reject name-calling and unwholesome talk. He would have probably pulled a 3rd grade Jimmy aside and said, “You didn’t say that word, but you said enough that it was still unwholesome.” I think he would encourage us all to do better with the words and what’s behind our words.

During these 40 days of election awakening prayer, let’s join together and watch the talk that comes from our mouths. Let’s be aware of how we speak of “them” – the ones we will vote against. But let’s also be aware of how we speak about our candidates. Is it wholesome? Is it helpful? Will it bless or tear down? And as we catch our words, let’s follow Petes’s advice: 

Finally, all of you should be one one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, Peay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. For the Scriptures say, “if you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and you lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” – 1 Peter 3:8-11